to die into nothingness, to be what I used to think was the result of all this living, an end to the ride that you paid for by being born, only to eventually fade into oblivion. that sounds so much easier than actually believing in a reality that one does something with.
not merely the attainment of human goals, of endless over consumption of resources and the accumulation of coloured paper, that supposedly connotes wealth. when the only thing to do here is to find a sense of balance and peace within.
there is no right way or wrong way about one’s approach, for it is all just an endless learning experience, wrought with opportunities for happiness and misery. the final choice is always yours for the making. don’t kid yourself that there is any other way by feeling sorry for yourself or projecting blame outwards at whatever other is convenient.
this life is about breathing and dying and gleaning something from those moments in between, some emotional movement, an alignment of energy, a simple shift in perspective, no way to really tell from this side but I suspect one knows when and if it ever syncs up. if not quite cognitively, then intuitively and nearly impossible to translate to others.
become that which you already know exists inside, project that love and that light upon itself and then it will shine beyond the border of the vessel, that you have previously believed yourself limited to be. so be, whatever that is for you and live the life you love, love the life you live.
.
on the one hand I am all too aware that I set this all up from the beginning,
making choices to use material that I hadn’t used before, to create a series out of thin
air on the spur of the moment that doesn’t just utilize a singular theme and gets printed
on paper and put lovingly into common rectangular boxes surrounded by whiteness
and smothered in glass, that would be too easy to pull off, too easy to succeed at, too
simple to get one good show behind me to give me some confidence and feedback
because working in a vacuum is easy and provides zero opportunity to face the fear
of failure by putting myself out there (though there is no there) while having a self-
imposed feeling of failure in the grander scheme of things, so why not set it up in
such an obvious way that allows for me to either say fuck it and quit or it just gets so
goddamned tricky that failure is the outcome anyway, by printing photos with text
on stainless steel to fit into a bullshit artist statement written one night almost 5
months ago
holding on to ideas of yesterday
is living in the past
when there is no there
there can be no then
though it still seems
so long ago
time held us, kept us
from ever knowing now
all the bumps and bruises
all the nothing nevers
hid behind the hands of time
obscuring ourselves from us
so look at where you are
and settle, ground
i’ll take
hippies and rainbows
over
fences
&
firepower
……
anyday
i am really struggling with how to incorporate the events i witnessed and others that i have since read about or watched video of into the framework with which i view this reality. while i am slightly outraged, i am by no means surprised. i have always recognized the shows of strength and violence which our society is ready to unleash against that which it deems to be a threat to its power. the irrational fear of fairness and justice have always struck me as odd. my first instinct is to anger, especially towards injustice. over the years what i have learned through witnessing my own anger and that of others, is that it has never helped the situation. quick reason is that, the other team is often holding the power of violence, literally in their hands and it really is our minds and our hearts that will make real change.
and how the hell do we do that?
go inside
look into yourself and discover what you are holding onto
and let it go
unravel yourself from the distractions of emotional energy that isn’t yours
but is holding you in a position where your very existence supports its rival
hate is only hateful
and dark and contagious
but if we banish it from our hearts and minds
it need not continue to spread
the good things that happened this weekend were
1) nobody got killed
2) a lot of people were given the opportunity to see through the smoke screen of distraction and see an aspect of this dream that they previously were unaware of.
i’m pretty certain a lot are going to see it
peace and love
bryant
but prior to today this is pretty much what i witnessed getting charged by stormtroopers
peace
awaken
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ……..
Everything is Nothing but Everything 